The Power of Muka Toye

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Dear Ostrich,

How I envy you. That smug you have on your face is what I yearn for to survive my battles with the Bhemdod Aliens at Planet Work, and these past few days, I have been making progress. It is THAT smug that has driven the Bhemdod Diva up the wall, and oh, how she has complained to the Dowager about me not validating her existence. Yes Ostrich, we do have children in the office. All wrapped up in a 40-ish year old physique, breathing and forever charting her political moves to kill someone in the office. How fun for us. How pathetic of her.

Your hairy look is in, Ostrich. It is the latest, hip and happening look to have. I advocate it to my staff, and they all love it. It is the kind of look that gives nothing, hints nothing and reacts to nothing. It is totally unreadable for political players, and with this, I get to ignore all the dark forces and just persevere on with my work duties. Politics aplenty, I still have to publish 24 books by the end of the year.

So how did you acquire the look, dear Ostrich? I mean, how do you have it on your face 24/7? I know I mentioned I made progress, but sometimes I fail. Sigh. I try to have the Toye look during Heads’ Meetings, but sometimes my Toye attempts broke into frowns instead. Ah, you should scrutinise my forehead now, Ostrich. I have 2 permanent frown lines – thanks to 9 years of sinking my hands dirty into the newspaper, magazine and now book publishing industries. But for the last 6 months, I do notice that my frown lines are looking more and more like the Mariana Trench. Gua tak boleh carrey. Do you think facials will work, Ostrich? You don’t seem to have any frown lines on you.

Yes, I know. You mentioned that it is my lack of practice. I promise that I will. I’ll perfect the look. YOUR look. It is priceless Ostrich. It is after all, a look that spells sophisticated serenity.

Steady lah, Ostrich. Your Toye look rocks!


  1. Muka toye apa tu?? Me no understanding all this language sophistiketot. Is it anything like “make donny” huh?? Have a good weekend baby, don’t get too stressed!

  2. hmmm uja must be stressed out huh? bhemdods at it again.

    me got ya some melaka dodol. but not as good as those fr trengganu lah. so when u want to go makan again? my treat.

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