Still Thinking…

I did the unthinkable. I knew I shouldn’t have, but the little girl in me said I have to.
I did it, and now I have to bear the consequences.

Mak has given a blanket ban on anything snowmobile for me, and DH. She said it nicely of course, something like: “Dah jangan naik-naik lagi benda tu…bahaya. Jangan berani sangat…subhanallah…selamat tak ada apa-apa. Jangan berani sangat…subhanallah…“
Notice the repeat – “Jangan berani sangat” (don’t be too brave) and the many praises to God.

I have heard this statement from Mak before. She says that to me everytime I do something reckless, or reckless in her eyes – whichever takes precedence. Lucky for me, Mak is a pretty adventurous person herself. If she had her way, I KNOW she wants to scuba-dive but alas – that didn’t quite happen. She is content with just swimming at the beach complete with a piece of kain batik, oversized T-Shirt and a serkop kait as her swim couture. But her adventurous side has limits, and some things I do (or did) – she does not understand.

I am a daughter with a conscience. I have no one to blame but my darling Mak for this. She raised me to be one. Everytime I have a new adventure, I will tell her – excitedly – drama and all. I always feel I have to let her into these new things I experience. I have told her among other things, very specific details of what goes on in an agogo show in Thailand. Or Tiger Shows in Bangkok – however you know it. Yes, very technical details of how that goldfish came out of the performer’s nunu.

My Mak, if you don’t already know – is an ustazah by profession. She embraces life with a passion, never judgemental and always curious. I know where I get my traits from.

So when I did my usual biweekly call to her yesterday – I was in a dilemma if I should censor the snowmobile ride up the mountain at the Rockies, 10,000 feet high. I told her about the dog-sledding, which she responded passionately. She loves animals – so any adventures involving animals is a big winner with Mak. I was trying hard to think HOW do I describe ‘dog-sledding’ to a 69 year old, when there is no such Malay equivalent term for it. So I said something like: “Mak tau Uja naik beca atas snow – lepas tu anjing tarik,” I started. Nice and slow, I thought. I need to give her a visual idea of ‘dog-sledding’, so beca (trishaw) and anjing (dogs) are good keywords.

“Mak tau! Mak tau! Mak pernah nampak kat TV! Eh bestnyaaa….kau naik tu? Eh bestnyaa…..”.
Yes, thats my mum for you. Animals? Sure winner.

When my 10-minute elevator pitch on how fun dog-sledding ended, I had exactly half a second to decide if I should move on to snowmobiles, before the topic of ‘dah ada baby ke belum’ crops up. So I told her. The truth. The full story. Complete with sidebars on how cars looked like ants when you are that high up a mountain, perched on a snowmobile, with plunging cliffs barely half an arm’s length away.

She was amazed, but she was mad. She wanted to ask more, but she also wanted to remind me to not dabble with one’s precarious life. Her questions were confusing, and I know I am heading towards the Blanket-Ban-Land.

And slowly, slowly …the words came out. She said it to me in her usual, soft-spoken ways, laden with power because it is usually those that will stick to me for years. Once Mak ‘advised’ don’t do it, I usually don’t – because defying Mak’s advice on a new adventure holds a lot of weight.

I told DH this morning about it. He, being the usual male species that he is – simply said, “so next time you want to ride the snowmobile, tell her you are riding on flat terrains”. Which is what I should be doing anyway. And not think I am a superwoman who can do stunts on a snowfilled Canadian mountainride, when I can barely run wihout panting around a small Tampines park.