Knowing strength

I have grown stronger.

As I typed away on the keyboard in the middle of the night, DH is far up in the skies crossing the Pacific Ocean to be back home in Vancouver within 10 hours or so.I didn’t cry much today at the airport – just very very teary but the bigger deal was, I was okay with having other people sending him off at the airport too.

You see, farewells are sticky situations for me. Whenever DH leaves for CA, I will request that no one appears at the airport because I dont really know how to handle myself being emotional in front of others. So the walk from the last hug and kiss at the gate is always, always, a painful and lonely one. I remember dashing out of the terminal every time, only to get into the car and let my tears flow endlessly in my own privacy.

This time, I could sense myself becoming stronger in my handling my own emotions as I get more used to the farewells. Also, it is a shorter separation since I will be in CA in the next 2 months or so, right after I wrap up the ‘Jalan’ series I am currently working on.

So, I had my cousins over, his grandma, his uncle and auntie all trooping down at the airport to send him off. The banter and chats helped to ease off the pain. Also, mum’s fall yesterday which had us staking out at the A & E till 5 am while waiting for the doc to stitch her cuts on her head distracted me. I had two worries – mum’s injuries and his departure. Both subjects are my deep love.

I thank God for managing well. Without Him, I dont really know how I can handle such situations.The timing of mum’s fall and DH’s departure was not the best – but that’s exactly what it is, isnt it? A test.

God knows better. And He always have a ray of sunshine tucked somewhere beneath the dark clouds. And me? Always can’t wait to have a peep at it.


  1. uja uja uja, u know i am always here to listen.

    it is true that farewells get easier each time. and i hate airports to the max. even if i go to the airport to pick up friends who come to visit, it will always give me the effect in my heart. the sedih effect.

    2 mths is short. its just 8 weeks. then u will be together again. insyaAllah.

    believe me, when u guys are reunited for good, ur marriage will be stronger, beyond believe.

  2. cikni: yang ini lama – at least for 3-5 yrs, but we will come back to MY/Sg for family visits and raya kot?

    Oni: Yes, finally. Dah sedondon warna tu show-off lah sikit 😉 Mum is ok,alhamdulllah. her stitches are healing and she is in high spirits, very my mother!

    ely: u know, i always tell myself that I have ely, Is, kakteh, ruby and kak rose(senyumanis) who went through the same things to offer support. That itself ely, is something aku syukur tak habis-habis. I take your words to heart babe!

  3. uja – u will always have me whereever u are! and whaaaaat? your mum fell?? how is she? send her my love.
    also this reminds me of our very frst parting at Heathrow airport. He had to go back for a meeting and I was to go back a few days later – but I didnt realise the look on my face as I left the terminal – someone said to me – Cheer up, darling – he’ll be back soon!
    U’ll be okay uja – and the time will come soon enough..AND THEN …rindu Mak pulaaaak!

  4. Hi Uja

    Just droppin’ by to say it was lovely meeting you yesterday cuma kesal tak dapat borak lama with you. Eh, next time gebang, kita kena main musical chairs so that we can tukar-tukar seats, heh. Hope to see you again soon. Take care!


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